What luxury SUVs should I buy?

Today, we're going to kick off a new Friday segment called Letters to Doug. Here's how it works: first, you send me a letter with some sort of automotive query, such as: "Dear Doug: Should I buy a used Saab 9-5 or just eat off my own face?" And then, every Friday, I will choose one letter and reply with a long-winded diatribe that only partially answers your question.

If this sounds like something you want to be a part of, please feel free to send me a letter at letters2doug@gmail.com, or Tweet me at @DougDeMuro. Please note that I will only be answering one letter per week, so try and make yours stand out without resorting to capital letters. Also: your secret's safe with me. All names will be changed to protect the identity of the letter writer.

Our inaugural letter comes to us from a reader in Miami, Florida, who writes:

Doug,

Love your columns on Jalopnik—always a great read. I used to own a Lotus Elise (in Miami) so I really identified with your AC issue when you drove it cross country.

I would like some advice regarding a used X5. Are these cars good? I see some examples with relatively low mileage on eBay for ~$25k. Are these good deals, or are they problematic? Also, Land Rover LR3 & LR4 seem like they take a beating with depreciation. Do they grenade, or is the engineering sound?

Thanks in advance and keep up the great columns!

Stephen

Stephen has raised an interesting point here, namely: a lot of European luxury SUVs lose value at a tremendous rate; a rate equaled only by mattresses, which you buy at the mattress store for like two grand and then you can't sell a year later on Craigslist because everyone thinks you have lice.

So should you take advantage of this immense depreciation? Or are these vehicles simply too unreliable and expensive to buy used? It's a good question, and I believe the answer separates car shoppers into two schools of thought, largely depending on their level of mechanical ability.

The first school of thought, which I refer to as the "Tavarish, " is: Go ahead and buy it! It'll be FUN! The reason for this, of course, is that Tavarish – and people like Tavarish – have no fear. These are the kind of people who look at a car on Craigslist that needs a new engine, a car whose dashboard was chewed up by a roving pack of hyenas, a car with bullet holes in the seats, and they think: "Oh look! An OPPORTUNITY!" And then they work some magic, and they fix a few things, and they sell the car three weeks later for a $4, 000 profit. Whereas you and I, to earn a $4, 000 profit, would have to work several weeks at our normal job, or at least rob a couple of convenience stores.

The second school of automotive thought, which I refer to as the "Doug, " is: OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT NOISE? WAS THAT THE ENGINE? OR DID I JUST RUN OVER A STICK? OH MY GOD WHAT IF IT WAS A BIG STICK AND IT PUNCTURED MY RADIATOR? OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GO TO THE DEALER RIGHT NOW. OH MY GOD I HOPE THEY HAVE FREE MUFFINS.